It's Global Cooling! It's Global Cooling!

We haven't had a cool spell in September like this since before 1928. It can only mean global cooling. Everyone get out your aerosol cans and spray! spray! spray!

Deep Thoughts by PU

• a hole for a fence post

• a 12-foot swimming pool

• a foundation for a basement

• the middle of Lake Superior

• an outhouse pit

• an off-shore oil drill

These things are deep

Come on!

I hate Scout. She has stolen the hearts of my pack mates. She is all cute and cuddly and seems innocent, but I know better. She is a con. She has come into our lives and will ruin us all. We've all seen that type in the movies. Beware TSK and TMS. She's evil!

Even I can't stand the stench...

...of my own body odor. It may be the poor condition of my skin or my breath or perhaps an ear infection. Heck, it might be all three. Whatever it is, it's rancid. If I were a cartoon dog, there would be flies encircling my body. She will be bringing me in to the vet tomorrow morning to cure my condition.

I love the car ride. I get anxious as we approach the office. All the while I shed like crazy. For some reason, I shed more when I'm nervous. When I go to the vet, ride in the car, or when He looks at me I instantly shed about a third of my body weight.

The vet brings out the crazy in me. I haven't been able to walk on my legs well for about 5 years. When I go to the vet, all I do is jump at Her. It makes Her feel like a fool when She brings me in for a consult about my supposed severe arthur-itis and I'm hoppin' around like a hungry flea on a cat's ass.

Maybe we could skip the vet altogether and She could just spray me with Febreeze.

Can I get an AMEN?!

I believe in the power of the paw. There I've said it. I am taking a que from Tom Cruise (ooh would I love to sniff his sexually charged rectal sphere) and promoting my religion. I believe in the POWER OF THE PAW. From now on I will say it loud and say it proud, I worship my own well manicured and clean paws. What's so strange about that? I mean really a guy died and came back to life 3 days later, and I am the one who's crazy. COME ON now all at once..... "SMELL THE PAW!!!"

The dog corner

Last year, I created a craze. Well, She and I created a craze. We would walk The Honey to school and, in accordance with school rules, we'd stay just outside the perimeter of school property. We would wait on a corner, watch The Honey walk into school, turn around and walk home. (Side Note: on the way home, She had to pick up my "bag" that She left next to someone's tree because She was embarrassed to hold it the entire walk for all to see.) Anyway, little by little, more dog owners caught onto our loop hole of walking to school but never actually being on school property. Now, in my twilight years, I've become a bit ornery and, quite frankly, I dislike other dogs. I don't acknowledge them until they try to "introduce" themselves to me by sniffing my ass. Then I unleash the terror. Because of the overprotectiveness of my ass, She no longer allows me to walk to "dog corner". Meanwhile, there are 5-6 dogs that wait there daily. This sucks.